It’s Friday night, been a long week, and you have nailed your diet. It’s been spot on, tough at times but you’ve done it and you are feeling strong. You woke up this morning determined to power through the weekend with none of your usual beers, pizza, takeaway or Sunday fry up. You’ve even worked out how you can fit a Roast Dinner in and it STILL be on your diet. Life is good.

Then at lunchtime, while at work, a colleague says to you

“Chuffing ‘ell Doris you’ve done well, I am impressed with your willpower. No way could I have done this. Are you going to skip your usual Indian takeaway tonight, your nickname is after all ‘Dahl Doris”

“Yes” you reply, “I am doing this, don’t even feel like having one, I’ve not felt this strong or focussed in forever”

But the damage is done. All through the afternoon the thoughts won’t leave you alone, you keep thinking about the Indian, the spice, the creaminess, the satisfying taste in your mouth, the softness of the rice, it all plays around in your head until it’s like a massive itch and it simply won’t go away.

You battle with yourself in your head

“NO NO I don’t want one, I don’t need one, I am fine”

but the problem is it’s there, the idea is in your head, it won’t go away, and by home time it’s all you can think about.

You get home and chat to your other half

“I don’t know what to do, should I or should I not, will I regret it if I do, but will it really harm me, but I have done so well, do I deserve it, oh I just don’t know”

Your partner, being a selfish to**ser and thinking only of themselves suddenly sees an opportunity to actually still get the regular Friday night takeaway that they had kind of succumbed to the realisation they were not going to be able to have so NOW they see an opportunity, and go in for the kill…

“Seriously Doris, one meal isn’t going to kill you, you’ve done so well all week, simply get back on it tomorrow and you will be fine, in fact I have read that it does you GOOD to have a boost in calories when you have been dieting AND if you just have one night a week off you are still doing better than you were previously AND it will give you something to look forward to each week. Honestly Doris, I think you should”

What a selfish to**er

So you order it, eat it, and enjoy it, but the minute you finish it you regret it. You wish you had not had it, you feel stuffed and bloated and ill. You don’t feel epic or mega or refreshed or even refuelled, you feel the WORSE you have all week. You look at your partner with a little hatred as you feel they talked you into it.

Next morning you jump on the scales, everything you had lost during the week you have put back on (most of it is water and while deep inside you KNOW that, it doesn’t make it any easier) and from that moment on you vow NOT to do it again.

Because you have realised that when you are dieting and get a craving for something, a really BAD craving that won’t go away, it is NEVER as good as you think it is going to be.

NEVER.

And you need to remember that NEXT TIME you get the cravings, because you will.