Oh Doris, you should have listened

Doris has been dieting her entire adult life. Years ago when she first thought she was overweight (about half a stone overweight to be exact) and needed to go on a diet she weighed 10 stone. Today, after nearly her entire adult life spent trying every diet under the sun (some 15 years of it), she weighs even more, at 14 stone.
Countless meals out ruined because of the guilt she felt eating certain foods, thousands of opportunities to enjoy donuts, cakes, crisps and biscuits all turned down and lost because she ‘shouldn’t really, I’m on a diet’, so so many sacrifices made, opportunities missed and occasions spoiled because of dieting.
Literally hundreds of final meals, and one last times and tomorrow is the day have gone past, hundred’s of mornings getting up and chanting today is the day, I’m really doing it now!
More times than she can count telling friends and family how amazing this new diet she is on is, how they should all be doing it as well, how this is the one.
(She doesn’t share this info anymore as she realises that everyone around her expects her to fail.)
But where has Doris gone wrong? Is there something medically wrong with her (she often thinks that). Is her medication playing havoc, is her thyroid defunct, is she big boned, does it run in the family?
Doris and google are best mates, her search history reads
- Why can’t I lose weight
- Do aspirin make you fat
- Is my thyroid slow
- How much weight can I lose
- Fast fat loss
- Do carbs make you fat
And so on…
Nowadays, Doris only DREAMS of getting back to the weight she first was, when she first thought she was overweight, the irony and despair is not lost on her. What a joke that is. She thought she was overweight THEN, now she would give anything to be back there and would be delighted to be that 10 stone again. The sad truth is she has accepted that she probably never will.
So what has happened, where has Doris gone wrong?
Well Doris has simply made ONE FUNDAMENTAL MISTAKE and that is it, only one, and it’s something I harp onto all of you about all the time (and bear in mind what I do for a living so I speak with some authority on the matter)…
Doris wanted it all done yesterday, over and finished with, weight lost, life reclaimed, new wardrobe bought, done with dieting forever, yesterday! Despite professionals telling her to lower her expectations and aim for ANY loss each week, Doris wanted to be like Margaret who started a new diet last week and lost 4lb!
She always approached each new diet with 100% commitment and drive and gave it everything she had, cutting out all the junk and bad foods, throwing herself into exercise, ditching the alcohol and literally overnight turning into a saint! Her goal was to drop all her weight at a rate of around 2-4lb a week, week in week out and be done with this ASAP.
And this worked, for a few days, occasionally a week or so, but then life got in the way, social events, parties, stress at work, tired, kids, late in, the list goes on, but something triggered her to seek out the comfort things that she loved, and in her case, carb heavy junk food and a glass of wine.
Now had Doris stopped at that point, had a bit of what she fancied, enjoyed the glass, and a few biscuits, all would have been good and no damage done but Doris, like nearly everyone else assumed she had failed, big time.
So because she had failed, and her brain told her there was no half way house here, she was either dieting, or NOT dieting, then this attempt had been blown.
As a result she ate the full pack of biscuits, finished the entire bottle of wine and raided the cupboards for good measure. Told the husband she was starting again tomorrow so “let’s have something nice for tea” and ALL OF THIS (getting it out of her system, one last treat blah blah blah) because she was going to start AGAIN, tomorrow. Today is a write off, never mind.
But that has been her problem. The diets she has done, and her attitude towards them have always been ALL OR NOTHING, no in-between. So the first time she falls down, which everyone does because that’s LIFE, she assumes its all blown, so in turn has a HUGE BLOWOUT, and tries again.
But it’s these huge blowouts in-between diets that have put the weight ON her. ANY progress she was making on the countless diets have been undone over the years because of her “I am either ON a diet, or OFF a diet” attitude, which was simply not sustainable. Instead of simply thinking, well I have had a treat and let’s get straight back on it she went 180 degrees the other way, like a starved kid let loose in a sweet shop.
And the biggest reason for this? Starving herself and making her diets unrealistic in the first place, because she wanted too much, too quickly, all or nothing.
If she had simply set her expectations lower, been happy with a smaller, more realistic, sustainable loss that would allow her to enjoy lifes treats and social events along the way, she would have been fine. She would not have had to give up ANYTHING AT ALL, just have a little less of it.
YES she would have to show some control, but the keyword here is some. Life didn’t need to stop, she didn’t have to give her favourite things up, just partake of them a little less.
If only, instead of chasing the limelight, fame and glory, she had settled down for the journey and remembered that the tortoise actually won the race she would have been able to stick to the first diet she did 15 years ago, it would of been the only one she needed.
If someone had said to Doris years ago…
“Doris just aim for half a pound a week love, it’s sustainable, realistic, you can still live life and you will be done in no time”
she would have replied…
“Sod that young man, who want’s to only lose half a pound a week, what sort of a crap diet is that”
But the truth is, had she listened and taken the advice, she would have lost her half a stone over 14 years AGO
She has wasted over 14 years of her life dieting, because she wanted it all yesterday. And didn’t listen to people who knew better.
But fortunately for Doris today is as good a day as any to change her thinking,
and it’s just as good a day for YOU to do the same…. ?
Oh, and before you start giving it all this “that doesn’t work for me JJ, I have to be all or nothing” malarkey….
How has the whole All or Nothing been working out for you so far? I am assuming not great because you have read this post right to the end X
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James Jackson is an Advanced Level Personal Trainer, former International Head Chef and Qualified Nutritional Advisor. He runs The Switch Plan Online Diet helping members from all over the world achieve their body transformation goals with incredible success and unbelievable results.